NFL Coaching Hires

Guy got the hardest job of them all. Dolphins gotta be in complete rebuild mode here.  Tannehill is not their future and they have almost no play makers on this team which is why it's impressive what Adam Gase did with this unit.

Arizona Cardinals

  • Kliff Kingsbury: Former Texas Tech HC & USC OC for 30 days
  • First of all, get ready for a lot of women to become fans of the Cardinals because of Kingsbury and lots of men become fans of Kingsbury girlfriend. Fucking power couple here.
  • So why did Kingsbury get this job after getting fired from Texas Tech?  He coached Patrick Mahomes, and for a brief period of time he also had Baker Mayfield at Texas Tech. His air raid offense is coveted in the NFL and many NFL teams/coaching staffs looked at Texas Tech and their offense as a way to open up the passing game i the NFL
  • Kingsbury has never had an NFL job, but because his air raid offense at Texas Tech was so unique he did consult with the Rams for a little bit.
  • Other than that Kliff Kingsbury has no credentials, and also signed on to be the USC Offensive Coordinator then left to become the HC at Arizona. I love the move, I love the hire. Ballsy.  The best thing to come out of this hiring, is everybody that has a stick up their ass about it. See below and enjoy all of these hardos complaining about a guy getting a better job.

  • ahh yes, Stephen A and his credibility bitching and moaning cause he’s too good looking and doesn’t win National Championships.
  • And now, cue up the Sean McVay jokes.

  • Cowhurd and Peter King got their balls in a bundle over this hire. You’ll be seeing lots of these two.


  • Biggest news on Kingsbury hire is the fact that he said he would take Kyler Murray #1 overall if he had the pick.  Well he has the pick, and also has Josh Rosen who was a 1st round QB. We’ll see if he tries to shop Rosen somewhere.  I wouldn’t put it past the Cardinals if Kingsbury likes him that much. However, Kingsbury isn’t making the roster decisions.
  • How will Kingsbury do as a HC?  Nobody knows. Let him coach next year, maybe even two years and we’ll find out.

Cincinnati Bengals

  • Zac Taylor (Reported): Los Angeles Rams QBs Coach
  • (Sean McVay Joke) no analysis, (Sean McVay joke) dumb comparisons (Sean McVay joke)
  • This isn’t official yet because the Rams are still in the playoffs but all signs point towards Zac Taylor being hired as the Bengals new head coach.  Guys has been with Jared Goff and his progression since Sean McVay was hired.
  • This guys doesn’t like it.  Let him list you his reasons why:

  • (Sean McVay Joke) (Sean McVay Joke) (awful Sean McVay Jokes) (all the Sean McVay jokes are bad).

  • All in all lets look at this. The Bengals have been stuck in the mud since hiring Marvin Lewis.  Yes he was a good coach but zero wins in the playoffs and just wasn’t cutting.  He was very old school and Zac Taylor will be a breath of fresh air into that Bengals locker room.
  • Key thing to look at here, what do the Bengals do with Andy Dalton.  Can Taylor save Dalton and get him to go from average to good or really good? We’ll see.  The AFC North is one of the toughest divisions in football so he’ll have his hands full.
  • Will Zac Taylor be a good fit? I don’t know watch the Bengals for the next two years and we’ll find out.

Cleveland Browns

  • Freddie Kitchens: Former RBs Coach & Interim OC for the Cleveland Browns
  • Kitchens – Baker 2019. Bring out the danishes, bring out the meats, bring out the spreads, these boys are gonna be cooking for the Browns. Maybe.
  • Freddie Kitchens got hired after being more successful as on OC with Baker Mayfield than Todd Haley is.
  • What great headline that nobody is talking about here. Todd Haley took the OC position in Cleveland just knowing Hue Jackson was going to get fired, he figured he would come in as the interim HC and prove he deserves another shot as a head coach in this league. Nope, suck one Todd Haley. Your RBs coach got your old job, and got the new job you wanted.
  • So if no other potential hires blew you away as the Browns, I think it was smart to go with the guy that really helped Baker be one of the better QBs during the second half of the season and they also seem to have a really good relationship.

  • Freddie Kitchens seems like the guy that would just sit out in the backyard with you on Saturday night and house like 26 Busch Lights on his own.  I like him.
  • Lets look at some more hot takes here.

  • Our boy Skeuuup is always right.

  • Cowhurd would hate any hire the Browns make unless it was Bill Belichik or Nick Saban because he hats Baker Mayfield for some reason. Cool Colin.
  • Will Freddie Kitchens be the guy to save Cleveland? I don’t know, lets give him a few years and find out ourselves.
  • Anyway, this is for Cowhurd and Todd Haley from Freddie Kitchens: suck one.

Denver Broncos

  • Vic Fangio: Former Chicago Bears DC
  • This will be short.
  • Vic Fangio is a very, very good defensive coordinator and him being a head coach is long overdue.
  • The Broncos defense is going to be straight up nasty next year.
  • Fangio has been a defensive coordinator since 1995 and has top 5 defenses at every stop (Carolina, Indianapolis, San Francisco, and Chicago) besides a four year stint in Houston from 2002-2005.
  • Check out the names on this staff:

  • Although the Broncos are pretty much set on defense, they could use some help in their secondary.  They still have issues at QB and on offense.
  • Fangio has hired, arguably the best OL coach in the league in Mike Munchak. He took on Rich Scangarello as his OC, who was the QBs coach in San Francisco. However, the QB is still an issue.
  • As much as I hate this term, Fangio just needs a game manager at QB. I’d look for them to take a shot a Nick Foles and get him around the same type of team that he played with in Philly.
  • Will Fangio be a good hire?  Most sports media agree he was the safest and one of the best picks of the 8 available spots.  He could be the worst.  He could be the best. Wait and see.

Miami Dolphins

  • Brian Flores (reported): New England Patriots LBs Coach
  • Guy got the hardest job of them all. Dolphins gotta be in complete rebuild mode here.  Tannehill is not their future and they have almost no play makers on this team which is why it’s impressive what Adam Gase did with this unit.
  • So Flores has been a Patriots guy since he began coaching in 2004.  He’s had every job from a scout, special teams assistant, assistant on offense, defensive assistant, safeties coach, and a linebackers coach.  He has coached on every side of the ball.
  • When Flores has been on the defensive side of the ball coaching for the Pats, their defense has been top 10 in points allowed in all those years.  If anything, the Dolphins defense should be a formidable unit next year.
  • Flores is also a young guy, only 37.  However that is not getting blown up all over sports media because he is a defensive guy that has never seen a picture of Sean McVay.

  • I’m not sure if Jim Caldwell will get another head coaching gig, but as an OC that is good hire for Flores.  Also, I hope to god we get Joe Flacco in a Dolphins uniform.  We need that.

  • Last point, love Clarence Hill here complaining about black coaches not realizing Brian Flores is black.  The stupidity of twitter at work here.
  • Is Flores a good hire for the Dolphins? Spoiler. Wait a few years to find out.

New York Jets

  • Adam Gase: Former Dolphins HC & Denver Broncos OC
  • Adam Gase was the hot OC before McVay or Shanahan were on the scene. Peyton Manning had one of his best years under Gase in Denver, and Gase got a lot out of Tannehill with the Dolphins when he was actually healthy. I’d say Gase did about as good as any coach would do in Miami.
  • Jets fans may not like this hire, but he was probably at the top of the list for a lot of teams in their HC or open OC spots.
  • Lets get to the real story here, Adam Gase is in fact an alien, robot, AI, from the future, or something.

  • Was Gase the right hire? Guess what? Let’s wait and find out.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

  • Bruce Arians: Retired, former Arizona Cardinals HC, Indianapolis Colts & Pittsburgh Steelers OC

bruce araians.gif

  • Now we get to the sexiest pick of them all: Bruce Arians. Easily the most sexy hire, most well known, most successful of all the hires this year.
  • Initially everyone thought he’d be a great fit in Green Bay, then he said he’d only want the Cleveland Browns job, and here we are in Tampa Bay where he’s gonna see if he can fix Jamies Winston.
  • The good thing for Arians?  I doubt he’s tied to Winston at all.  If Winston fails next year, Arians will be able to bring in his own guy the following year and have a few years to work with him.
  • Arians is joining arguably the most competitive division in football. The Saints are a unit, and it seems like every other year the Falcons and Panthers exchange winning 10, 11, or 12 games and make a playoff run.

  • And here you thought people were done with the Sean McVay jokes! NO MY FRIEND WE ARE NOT.
  • Spoiler alert Kevin, Bruce Arians was very successful head coach before Sean McVay was even a thought in every owners ball sack.

  • hmmm… okay. Brucey is getting a blowey.
  • Back to actual NFL talk, this is the best hire available for Jamies Winston.  He’s gonna get a coach that will hold him responsible, not take any shit, and progress his career.  If Winston can’t succeed with Arians, welcome to a backup career my sweet crab legged friend.
  • Tamps is also loaded with offensive weapons.  Two great receiver, two great TE’s.  Maybe Arians can convince DeSean Jackson to stay?
  • Is Tamps now a sneaky spot of Le’Veon Bell to end up? Tamps needs a workhorse back.
  • Arians made a great hire on the opposite of the ball with Todd Bowles who he worked with in Arizona.  Bucs need a lot of help on that side of the ball.
  • Let’s wait and see if Arians works out in Tampa Bay before declaring this a great hire.



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