Q: What will happen first, Patriots miss the playoffs or Alabama don’t get a NY6 or playoff game? – Nate B
Here we are again folks. Yellow tiled walls, black tiled trim, green and teal colored flooring, white stalls that have been painted over countless time, and my ass on a toilet ready to answer another Pot Shot.
Well Nathan poses another very timely and well asked question. Alabama seems like they’ll always be in the final four, and the Pats with Belichik and Brady have missed the playoffs only once, back in 2002 with a 9-7 record (facts, fucking facts folks).
But I must answer this difficult question while also trying to push a demon out of my — I’ll stop there. No need to inform everybody how big this thing is (Hint: large).
I really crunched some number here trying to decide which would happen first and the numbers I came up with are 1 and 07932. 1 is the street address of the Jets practice facility, and 07932 is the Zip code of said facility. The Jets have hired an alien as their head coach if you did know. Proof is in the pictures below.
“Adam Gase” or whatever that alien likes to call himself is now the head coach of the New York Jets. They Jets will still probably suck, however after two years of not beating the Patriots I believe “Adam Gase” will eat Bill Belichik begins a dumpster at Emperors in Tampa Bay, FL.
And there you have it, “Gase” eats Belichik in early 2021 and the Jets finish 10-6.
Alabama head coach Nick Saban gets tabbed for the New England Patriots head coaching gig in 2021 after Belichik goes missing. Saban leads the Pats to a 13-3 record. Meanwhile, Alabama goes for the home-run hire and gets Hue Jackson. Alabama goes 7-5 and misses a NY6 game.
Prediction: Alabama in 2021.
*Pot Shot idea courtesy of Nate B